I was supposed to go for an interview last week to maybe do some work experience with a local advocacy group but it was postponed due to a family emergency (hers, not mine); it was rescheduled for yesterday afternoon.
PTSD is a pain in the butt. Let’s be clear, it’s not just a part-time thing that only impacts on your life in difficult situations, it impacts on every minute of every day. I was shaking so much before the interview I could have been the cocktail maker at a local bar and I was so worried I was going to throw up on the poor woman, it was horrible. I made it though, I am determined this is my year to really get my rebuilt life up and running.
I am a survivor but even more than that I am a fighter. I refuse to give up no matter how hard something is, the best evidence I can give for that is my achievement of a Bachelor of Arts degree last year, and now I’m two thirds through my Masters of Arts, neither of which has been easy. I am nearly 47 years old, yesterday there was a discussion on the commercial news about how our brains are at their best when we are about 24. Wow, no wonder this study gig has been so hard. Ok, it’s not just age, PTSD has a great deal to do with it but it doesn’t matter, I have been dreaming of going to university since I was a young girl, unfortunately when the first chance came I had to make a choice to either stay at home and go to university, or move out and be safe. I chose to move and my mother has never forgiven me. So, when my relationship ended in 2009 I saw it as my chance to rebuild my life doing what I wanted to do this time. I’m nearly there. Only another 6 weeks of these two current subjects then three more subjects and I’m finished my Masters.
So back to yesterday. I went to the interview and met a very lovely lady who managed to put me at ease fairly quickly, well, I didn’t throw up on her! We discussed my history/knowledge of domestic abuse and trauma, and the projects their organisation has upcoming and where she could see me fitting in. Result is I am waiting on an email with a brief so I can come up with some PR ideas for the first project they are working on which is regarding homelessness, then when funding arrives I will be helping them on a domestic violence project; I am so incredibly grateful for the chance they are giving me with this work experience. I get to use my writing skills and my creativity to come up with some different approaches, hopefuly in ways that get the community involved and connected with the issues. Because in all honesty, it could happen to any one of us.
Domestic abuse doesn’t always leave a visible bruise and homelessness is not only caused through drugs and alcohol, and we really need to get people to think more in depth about issues of this nature in order to come together as a community and do something.
I want the rest of my life to count for something, I want to help people who are in situations of domestic abuse like I was, I want to show them there are options, no matter how dark it may seem to them. This work experience opportunity feels to me like the first huge step in achieving my goal.
I can and will keep writing poetry and other fiction pieces in the hopes of building my writing career, but I can’t help but be excited at the idea that I can combine both my love of writing and the chance to help other people.
I’ll put a couple of poems up on the blog over the next few days but at the moment I hear the call of a tutorial due for uni so it’s time for me to scoot.
Thanks for taking the time to read this 🙂
I hope you all have a wonderful day, full of friends, love, laughter and fun. Maybe chuck a tiny bit of work in there too. If you have to.